900 days

Et tu, Brute?

Finally, after an emotional roller coaster ride lasting about 7 weeks, all the couples from our NCT class had their babies. Due to the power of time travel I am able to post this in the past, one week ago when I originally wanted to write this.

All mums and babies, and even the dads are up and well, and that’s a very satisfying situation, even though I was only marginally instrumental to one of the births.

It’s funny how a more or less randomly gathered group have given so much support to each other, when the only common factors were having-the-first-baby, and maybe a certain financially safe background that might come with the £200 or so registration fee.

Saying that, 3 out of the 7 dads (including me) changed their jobs so close to their wives’ due date they didn’t get their paid 2 weeks of paternity leave, and, at least in my case it wasn’t a planned decision, so that financial safety only goes so far. But more on that another time.

I’m very happy for all of the brand new families. Meeting all the guys and girls made me realize how many of my relationships with other people don’t seem to have room for soon-to-be-dad conversations. Naturally, as pregnancy only lasts 9 months, all my friends are either not having any children (and not thinking about having any right now), or they had a baby or two already. Like this, conversations seem to only have the 2 outcomes “I don’t know” or “it’ll pass” (now this is entirely unfair to my parent-friends, there’s also “I don’t remember” and “you’ll miss those days later on”); either way nothing that made any impact on me.

Not so with the NCT dads. While the girls established many afternoon coffee meet-ups, The guys started a bi-weekly huddle in a local pub. The first time happened to be on our first couple’s due date, but Steve braved it and we were all mighty proud of that (which set the drinking pace for all following evenings). As it turned out later, we all did it; I went 2 weeks later with Jen being 4 days overdue, and the last time we met the final 2 guys were in the same situation as I was previously.

Says Rob to Frank: “I feel like we’re in the Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Slowly they’re all turning, one by one, until I see you on the street one day, and you turn around and go gggggaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!”. This kind of exchange must be worth more than any baby book can ever provide.